2024-12-28 first draft
As Christmas presents this year due to the stochastic firing of neurons in my brain I decided to print some fridge magnets. If I didn’t see you yet yours may still be on the way or feel free to request one – I printed extra. The first was a list of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life which of course goes without explanation since the book of the same name may be referenced for further detail. The second was the above pictured picture. I’d prefer to leave it to the interpretation of the viewer but will provide some background here lest the interpretation be assumed void.
Firstly, if you don’t know who this is I disown you unless you can provide evidence that you lived in a cave during 2022. This is of course Camille Vasquez pictured during the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard defamation trial. Specifically, during the delivery of the closing arguments to the jury:
“…What is at stake in this trial is a man’s good name. Even more than that, what is at stake at this trial is a man’s life. The life that he lost when he was accused of a heinous crime and the life he could live when he is finally vindicated. …
… The evidence presented at this trial demonstrates that Ms. Heard didn’t just want a divorce. She wanted to ruin him. …”
Camille Vasquez, Depp v. Heard trial closing arguments, video, transcript.
I’m not much of a movie watcher or celebrity follower so didn’t really have an opinion or support a side at the start of the trial. Some of the news headlines caught my eye though and I started following the trial. I think most of my interest at the start was due to a morbid sense of impending doom and villainisation of men which would surely follow. After all, we’ve just come through the #MeToo and MenAreTrash movements. These movements leave me with a characteristic sense of being falsely accused or insulted. However, I generally struggle to articulate why or counter the claims and hidden assumptions in the moment. In any case, that’s a topic reserved for future lambasting.
Once I started watching the highlight videos I was soon captivated by Camille Vasquez. While Depp’s whole legal team was amazing she really stood out for me. Everything was brilliant. That she was selected as a female – averting the otherwise inevitable men versus women perception. The sharp tongue and agile analysis, quick to highlight inconsistencies and call out underlying agendas. The ability to condense the case down to the motives1 and explain the ramifications of Heard’s actions in an understandable way. The feminine energy which radiated so strongly many of us wondered whether she and Johnny might have started dating. The white dress – she was smart and beautiful enough to win not only the case but also the meta-game. The strategy, deliberate and precise execution, all quite ingenious and splendid to watch.
But perhaps most of all, the stark contrast. Because there were two women in the limelight – although Amber Heard is not pictured here she is implicitly on the scene2. So we saw these women, face to face. That allowed the mind to wander and the imagination to explore… . So for me, this turned into a Tale of Two Women.
I wondered if women were even worth it given the incredible risk of damage. I wondered if avoiding women was even worth it given the opportunity cost of missing out on a “good” woman. I wondered what a “good” woman would be. I wondered what a “bad” woman would be.
I wondered if a woman could build a man up. I wondered if she could tear him down. I wondered if it was important for a man to choose a woman who would defend and support him at least as much as her own interests. I wondered about the life a man could live if a woman had their back or the torment and ruin endured were she their persecutor. I wondered which feminine characteristics might be desirable in a mate. I wondered what amber flags to look out for.
I wondered if a woman could sharpen a man by calling their bullshit and holding him true to himself and on the straight and narrow. I wondered if she could wear him out playing games where she made the ever changing rules.
I wondered not only what a women was but what a woman could be. I wondered if women wonder what makes them women and what those things would be. I wondered if it was selfish to only wonder about the aspects of women that make them desirable or helpful to men. I wondered if it was selfish to be a woman and not wonder those things.
And then I stopped wondering.
If I ever have kids, this trial will be compulsory viewing once they’re older teenagers. It’s quite enlightening.
So, What is a Woman? Nobody can answer this question. A woman can be so many things. It is impossible to define what a woman is.
But I saw this woman the other day.
And I liked what I saw.
- Heard’s motives might have been subconscious but I think the resulting effect of her actions was the same regardless: She was hell-bent on destroying Depp as Vasquez pointed out. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. ↩︎
- I didn’t want a picture of Amber Heard permanently on my fridge. As is, I think the connection in the picture is indirect enough that you can look at it without being reminded of the indirect links each time. ↩︎